Hi - it's been a min. Over the last couple of months, a few of you asked whether I'd continue writing SOAR, and while it never crossed my mind to stop, I needed to take a substantial break and process everything that was 2021. I anchored to Lunar New Year (Feb 1) as my true reset and boy, has it been; I'm writing you after spending three wonderful weeks with my family, making 500+ dumplings from scratch, and reconnecting with high school friends. Did I work? Yes. Did I job hunt? Of course. Did I find any promising leads? Quite possibly(!), but more on all of these things another time.
Today, you get to see the cynic in me. I originally planned to kick off the year with optimism, but public attention towards Inventing Anna is the perfect tie to something that’s been on my mind for months - imposters. For those unaware, here's an article and interview with Anna Sorokin/Delvey. Personally, I'm not a fan of the attention we give to imposters for reasons I'll get into later, but for now, let's just get started.
Separating imposters from the syndrome
Before getting into this, please trust that I recognize imposter syndrome as a legit behavioral health condition that people suffer from - full stop. And based on a quick Google Trends search of the term, I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon.
This post today is not meant to discount in any way, shape, or form the experiences or symptoms associated with it. At the same time, I wish we’d dig more diligently into factors such as competence, self-awareness, and confidence that contribute to it because I worry that the term is also being misused in manipulative ways, which leads me to wonder the following cynical question whenever I hear it…
Are we talking about imposter syndrome or imposters?
The 'imposter’ spectrum
If we use competence as the scale, then this spectrum ranges from 'imposter' on one end to 'imposter syndrome sufferer' on the other, for which both can lead to the use of the term imposter syndrome based on its symptoms, but not necessarily its conditional causes.
Here's what I mean: symptoms of imposter syndrome include having persistent self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud or imposter.
As an imposter, these symptoms seem reasonable enough, given that a person is not truthful about his/her/their expected ability to perform a skillset, task, or job.
As for someone suffering from imposter syndrome, the symptoms may be the same, but the cause is not due to a lack of competence, but rather likely a lack of self-awareness and/or confidence; in short, these people fail to internalize their accomplishments despite their widely perceived success among credible and informed others.
The true beauty of a spectrum is finding the middle ground, which is wildly subjective. Nonetheless, here's my POV:
The objective is not to be forever over competent - this would be extremely limiting and keep us from developing new skills and learning new things; where’s the fun in that?! Instead, an 80-20 or 70-30 split feels reasonable to me in most cases.
The real objective here is just to not lie about it; deceit is what defines someone as an imposter, not the lack of knowledge or know-how. Regardless of whether the motive to lie is greed or self-preservation, I have yet to see how it's ever net positive in the long-term, even if it's understandably human.
Fake it 'til you make it
As you can probably imagine, I hate this phrase, as it exacerbates problems with imposters and those suffering from the syndrome alike. The nuance here is that this phrase encourages acts of deceit among imposters vs feelings of deceit among sufferers.
Remember my subjective 70-80% competence threshold? I generally find that anything below it is when people start failing upwards.
[As a quick side note, ‘failing upwards’ could probably be its own post but here's my quick take: At the root of it, I suspect American work norms overemphasize the individual benefits of 'learning by doing' and under-recognize the collective damage it can culturally create. I advocate for two things accordingly:
(as the learner) greater appreciation for ‘learning by observing’ as a complement
(as the instructor) better leadership, which I don't define via title, but rather the effective ability to inspire, guide, and develop talent]
How imposters win
Every episode of Inventing Anna opens with:
This whole story is completely true. Except for all of the parts that are totally made up.
Even though this series is made for entertainment purposes, it's hard to overlook how ridiculous this opening line is and also why people love it - because we’re suckers for a good narrative. Imposters win when we contribute to their narratives via our mental and emotional time, attention, or voice. In this Netflix series, we see how all-consuming this case involving Anna becomes when characters Vivian Kent (the reporter) and Todd Spodek (the lawyer) sacrifice time away from family even after the verdict.
When dealing with imposters, I personally strive for distance and indifference. If we do talk about them, I hope it's out of caution instead of entertainment and celebration. Anything else including outrage, disapproval, and pain is just mental and emotional energy that they don't deserve.
So what’s the solve?
Oof. I don't have a complete answer here, but am willing to try and start one…I think progress begins with more courage and compassion. I'd like us to normalize and appreciate the beauty in not knowing things when it's coupled with the discipline to learn. I’d also like us to find courage and comfort in honesty because great things really can come from it.
Lastly, I hope we continue to recognize that compassion doesn't actually inhibit productive outcomes but rather enables it in the long run. HBR recently published a great piece about this, and it was a relief to see the authors nail the last paragraph, specifically the last sentence.
Parting thoughts
I'm not going to lie, I found this post incredibly challenging to write because I don’t enjoy spending extra time and energy on negative conversation that I’ve already processed. I also see the irony in having drawn more attention to a series that I don't particularly like, which is why I refused to post any images.
Still, I write things in the spirit of encouraging diversity of thought. Per usual, I’m open to hearing yours.