August is my favorite month for a few reasons:
I wait all effin' year for white peaches to be in season and they're finally here(!), which means I eat a case like this weekly.
I take work off for my birthday to do whatever I want. (Shout out to my fellow Leos out there, xx.)
As the end of summer approaches, people grant themselves more permission to feel like the work can wait (until it can't).
As much as I love August, this one's going to be a little stressful as I juggle family commitments, new work, interviews, and just fun. SOAR is desperately fighting for its share of time, but I'll do my best to still share some themes from recent conversations.
A lot of advice I've given lately centers around the difference between being grounded vs anchored. Definitions:
I define 'grounded' the same way the dictionary does - well balanced and sensible. (You'll learn that I'm almost always going to recommend balance above all else.)
When I talk about being anchored, I'm referring to the way we focus on something that might be less relevant in context to the objective. While there are certainly advantages to anchoring, I’ve noticed that the disadvantages seem to be weighing people down in a few similar ways.
Anchoring to the job you have instead of the job you want
So many people have told me that they want to do something other than their current role, but then share that they're only exploring roles that they're fully qualified for…?! I think a more grounded approach is to look at the jobs you're qualified for and the jobs you actually want, and to be prepared to know what each is worth to you.
Making a switch in any capacity (industry, function, level, location, etc.) takes mental effort more than anything else, and there's often a conversation that you'll likely have with yourself re: what each is worth (often more personally than professionally). People tend to swing in a lot of different directions here so I won't go into them; all I'm going to say is whichever direction you choose, do it with commitment and conviction because if you don't bet on yourself, how can you really ask others to?
What I typically find is that people burnout from the mental endurance it takes to stay grounded as you navigate the highs and lows of making that switch. Don't anchor yourself to the obstacles; if anything, anchor on the opportunity. And remember, the issue isn't often time, but energy; if you can manage that, then as my friend would say, 'you're Gucci.'
Anchoring to pay instead of other things you care about
I'm kind of too lazy to explain this one because you can read all about pay negotiations and anchoring if you just google it. But I will say, negotiating is always going to be uncomfortable to me for a few reasons, two of which I'll go into.
First, getting transparency among your peer set: I think it's super important to learn what your job is worth (instead of just what you make), but it takes the kindness of others to figure this out and friends/coworkers might not be comfortable talking about it. As much as I never push anyone to share information, I'm sometimes disappointed by those who don't because I really believe that a rising tide lifts all boats - that if we can just check our competitive spirits, we can all advance together. (That said, if I get a competitive vibe from someone, I'm personally less willing to share because I'm not interested in rewarding that kind of mindset.)
Secondly, sensitivity/double standards re: negotiations: Here and here are two stories of offers being rescinded because these people tried to negotiate. Wtf. It's hard to ever know when I might find myself in this situation, but I just have to believe that I’m better off knowing how a company behaves now vs later. Still, the situation sucks.
Anchoring to work instead of people
I recently had to choose whether I'd break my intention of only working in a freelance or full-time capacity in exchange for a short-term contract; long story short, I decided to. I'm not gonna lie, I much prefer freelancing if I base it on the work aspects alone (flexible hours, defined scope, etc.), and still stand by the recommendations in this post.
That said, I met a few good people who needed some help at LinkedIn and thought it would be fun to work alongside them for a few months. As much as I dislike setting up a new computer, emailing IT about tech issues, and having multiple calendars to manage, I get to see some inspirational people crush their jobs on the regular.
Do you ever see another side of your friends and just completely fall in love with them?? I'm being a bit extreme here, but this is what this opportunity gives me - a shared experience with some wonderful people. That's net-positive to me. As a bonus, I'm surely on LinkedIn enough these days for my job hunt, so it's pretty interesting to assess my perceptions against its intentions and actions.
Some birthday requests
Birthdays tend to trigger periods of reflection, but I’ve been a little short on having the share of mind to properly do so with everything going on; I hope to be able to process everything after a few interviews are out of the way. In the meantime, here are a few SOAR-related birthday wishes, if you’re interested in treating me to a gift. I’ve listed them in descending order of priority.
I created SOAR with the hope of helping people find some kind of comfort and belonging, and wrote the following in my very first post: the time I put into SOAR will be well worth it if I can convince you to reply to a stranger's message on LinkedIn, send a referral link, forward a resume along to a hiring manager, make an introduction, and/or mentor our next gen…All I ask is that you repeatedly choose to be that person if you can. If you have been meaning to be that person, but haven't gotten to it yet, please do so as a gift to me.
If you regularly read SOAR and have never shared thoughts, I’d be curious to hear them; simply reply to this email. Understanding what resonates (and doesn’t) really helps me stay motivated to write.
If you feel like someone would enjoy reading SOAR, I’d appreciate you sharing.
I have no intention of making SOAR a paid subscription because I'm extremely sensitive to the notion of 'access' in our lives. However, if you've fulfilled birthday wishes 1 thru 3 and want to indulge me even further, my birthday gift to myself every year is to go nuts at the farmers market. It means I'll get things like that case of stone fruit, some flowers, a few pounds of heirloom and cherry tomatoes, and some seafood that I usually don't feel like spending money on. If you want to show appreciation to SOAR by footing some of the bill, well…I'll accept the kind gesture this one time of year.
Venmo: kittycatchao
What things cost: $4 for a pint of cherry tomatoes; $6 for a quart of heirloom; $12 for flowers; $32 for a case of peaches and nectarines.
Thanks for always looking past my late-night typos as you read - it’s awfully kind of you.